Shit. I was so infuriated and geared up to go his house get back all my stuff. All the stuff i've bought for him. Apparantly Jaime bought him loads too. He's practically living off us lah! Am so angry! Ahhhhhhh Ahhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhhhhhh

I asked M1. Takes only 30 bucks and 1 day to change numbers. So why didn't I do it? =( Cuz i'm a ninny. Deep down I don't want to cut contact completely. If u ask me now is it becuz I still cherish hopes? No! I don't see how we can be together again. Fuck buddies? Maybe. But I don't need one. I can't stop caring bout him.

After talking to Jaime more and more.. I'm super confused now. The way she describes their r/s differs from his description so much. He gives me all the good and nice aspects and claims that's why he feels guilty and he can't leave her. But she says she's bochup and can't be bothered. In 3 years they've never held hands etc and she doesn't mind. When they quarrel she just keeps quiet and lets him let it off and tell him say whatever you want. Is she telling me all these NOW on hindsight, out of bravado? So this is his definition of "I don't love her as much but I'm comfortable."??

Sometimes I wish I'd never met him. Before I met him my definition of love is very simple. Dinners and movies don't mean much. If u're seeing each other/dating, you're trying to be together. Don't have to be exclusive but if you don't what's the point of trying. At some stage when you're together you just cease contact with ur other dates. Somehow along the way with him my lines got very blurred. I always ask myself 2 questions when i'm in doubt. 1) Do you love the person enough? 2) If so can you swallow this?

Am I wrong? I seemed to have swallowed too many bitter pills that's eating me up inside.

Shall I put up my pic to scare? Haha


Toyota MR Spyder - ON HOLD
Driving license - FAILED! =(
Diving license
Visit bro in Tokyo
Beach holiday (Bali/Phuket)
Orlando Disney
LD package
Zoom!
New wardrobe
Lose 3 kg
Dog
New sport (wakeboard/sailing)
Jap goodies - GOT THEM! Thankies bro!

Are we only allowed 3?? =p


Don't sweat the small stuff

Be more patient

Save more



Sammie
Pika
Pamela
Ah Fen
Melmel
Feng Po Zi
Shyan
Corey
Eugene
Cheechee@Dubai
Cheechee's Musings






Purest Of Pain

I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live without you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.

Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
Carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back...