After that final talk and the jab at small talk on msn, i still think i'm not ready and i told him to give me some time. I also wanna share, joke, laugh and talk till the cows come home with you. I've never said it but part of why i fell in love was cos i COULD talk to you. Ironic isn't it?

It really is deja vu. As i look back at what happened and myself, i begin to formulate this pattern of reactions to loss which i think, applies to tremendous loss such as death or even losing a pet or something you hold dear.

Disbelief
You start to ask yourself: How could it have happened? Then you make all sorts of excuses and justifications.

Denial
Then you start to convince yourself it's not true: How could he/she/it do this to me? Something must have been relayed wrongly somewhere.

Desperation
Then you start to internalize it and believe there is something you can do to win or find he/she/it back. And you would do anything within your means to just try and keep he/she/it with you. It's really of no point, especially when the person is dead and you try to communicate through a spiritual medium etc.

Acceptance
I guess this is when you have exhausted all means, humiliated yourself and broken to pieces. Then you start to accept and grief and pick up the pieces.

It's just my personal opinion or maybe it IS just me. Maybe all we need is time. And how we manage this time differs from person to person. Some keep busy, some cry all day, some look for a replacement and yet some just choose to let it be. I think i've tried all of the above so now i'm just gonna let it be. I don't wanna go out of my way to not think about it anymore. End of the day it's still on my mind. When everyone goes home and you're all alone, it's depressing.

I hope that after all these i do learn to be a better person and gf.

Shall I put up my pic to scare? Haha


Toyota MR Spyder - ON HOLD
Driving license - FAILED! =(
Diving license
Visit bro in Tokyo
Beach holiday (Bali/Phuket)
Orlando Disney
LD package
Zoom!
New wardrobe
Lose 3 kg
Dog
New sport (wakeboard/sailing)
Jap goodies - GOT THEM! Thankies bro!

Are we only allowed 3?? =p


Don't sweat the small stuff

Be more patient

Save more



Sammie
Pika
Pamela
Ah Fen
Melmel
Feng Po Zi
Shyan
Corey
Eugene
Cheechee@Dubai
Cheechee's Musings






Purest Of Pain

I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live without you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.

Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
Carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back...