Just talking to a girlfriend of mine now. We're just chatting and the topic just turned to guys. Apparantly there's this guy she's 'involved' with now. They sms and see each other everyday or almost or sthg like that. Apart from the holding hands stuff they are like a couple. When he doesn't call she feels sian, when he does she's so happy. But she doesn't wanna believe that he likes her. She's not my only girlfriend in this state.

I shock myself with my replies.

Mostly when people say that we don't know what's wrong deep down we do. We're just scared that either we're right or we're jumping to conclusions thereby worsening the already tense situation. I guess no one likes to come outright and expose their true intention. It makes you vulnerable and what's worse, you're risking rejection. Becos you put yourself on the line.

We're scared that if we're right we're just gonna fall right into it. As long as you keep telling yourself what you're feeling is untrue, that you're probably being sensitive, why would he like you, why you when there're many others too, what makes you special, essentially it's just the 'no expectations = no disappointments' theory. Defeatist you may say, but it lets us live with ourselves. We're also scared that we're wrong, and all the 'what's wrong with me, am i not good enough' comes on. Disappointment sets in and we tell ourselves what's new.

At the end of the day that's just it isn't it? We all have our justifications for doing something. If you wanna try you tell yourself you don't wanna have any regrets. If you don't you tell yourself oh it's becos i don't wanna get hurt anymore and he's probably not worth it. Either way we have a way of consoling ourselves, that what we're doing is for the best.

After the recent saga, I realised the most important thing is to be accountable to yourself. If you can look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself I've done nothing wrong to him or anyone else, I've done my best in pursuing what i want in the best way i thought i could, that's enough. Don't have to play silly mind games, power struggles, battle of wills. That's also when we must learn to let go. Can you live with the 'what if-s'? Or can you live with yourself after the 'if only-s'?

Most women are like flies that guys can't wait to brush off. You must be the bee, whereby every guy wants to get at your honey.

Shall I put up my pic to scare? Haha


Toyota MR Spyder - ON HOLD
Driving license - FAILED! =(
Diving license
Visit bro in Tokyo
Beach holiday (Bali/Phuket)
Orlando Disney
LD package
Zoom!
New wardrobe
Lose 3 kg
Dog
New sport (wakeboard/sailing)
Jap goodies - GOT THEM! Thankies bro!

Are we only allowed 3?? =p


Don't sweat the small stuff

Be more patient

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Sammie
Pika
Pamela
Ah Fen
Melmel
Feng Po Zi
Shyan
Corey
Eugene
Cheechee@Dubai
Cheechee's Musings






Purest Of Pain

I'm sorry I didn't mean to call
but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
and so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live without you
and maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know
that deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.

Vida, give me back my fantasies
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe
Carino mio, my world becomes so empty
my day's are so cold and lonely
and each night I taste
the purest of pain.

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better every day
that it didn't hurt me when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking.
Vida, give me back...