I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand.
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.
Starts with goodbye,
The only way you try to find,
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
*Dedicated to all my fellow cancer sufferers. =o)
I nearly forgot I wanted to blog about this. Well, was on my way to meet Faith yesterday when I heard this song on my iPod on the bus. It never struck me as much previously. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's just the circumstances (Pika says my cancer is back).
Well I don't exactly agree. Cos it's not bothering me anymore. Was just recounting all the empty promises, all th lies and such. Then why do I still pay any attention right? He also asked me why I wanna meet if I didn't wanna talk about us and getting back together.
Is it really difficult to believe that I still care? Simply about whether you're okie, and how's Magic. Is it really true that there are certain people you just cannot stay friends with? I remember how in the car I was just pulling things to talk about from the air while all he wanted to talk about was us. If there's still a 'us'.
I really don't know and I don't wanna know anymore? Was thinking in the bus. I used to worry about all the uncertainties, hang on to all the unfairness and why-s. But now I just wanna focus on things that are certain and real. Like all my dearies, my family, my job. Ironically while we were talking at the Hola coffeeshop he said we've come full circle. I guess he meant we still ended up not being together and back to talking at that coffeeshop.
But for me? We have indeed come full circle. Back to the hall days where I doubt I mean anything to him. Am just a convenient thing to have around. And I really thank God that now, he no longer has that kinda hold over me. Would I still drop everything to meet him? Maybe. Would I be upset if he doesn't make it or call etc? Not really.
It starts with goodbye.
